Here you can read a shortened version of a sermon by one of our curates, Dave:
Many of us have experienced the pain and confusion of praying fervently and hearing nothing in response. This can erode our faith and confidence in God, making it a crucial aspect of our journey as disciples of Jesus to wrestle with and find peace in unanswered prayer.
We often hear that God responds to prayers with "yes", "no", or "wait". While "no" and
"wait" can be hard to accept, they at least feel like answers. Unanswered prayers, however, don’t fit into these neat categories. These are the prayers where God seems silent, leaving us echoing David's cry in Psalm 13: "How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?"
Unanswered prayers are not trivial – they often concern deep, significant issues: chronic
health conditions, abusive relationships, addiction, financial hardship, mental health
struggles, and the salvation of loved ones. The silence of God in these moments is
particularly painful when we see similar prayers answered in the lives of others.
Our initial cries to God often stem from fear, desperation, hope, and longing. When these
cries are met with silence, our prayer shifts from "God, I need you to intervene" to "God, where are you?" David’s anguish in Psalm 13, where he repeatedly asks "How long?" and pleads for God to look on him and answer, mirrors our own. The psalms are filled with such prayers of pain and desperation, reflecting a tradition of expressing the fullness of our emotions to God, not just the happy ones.
My first encouragement is to follow David in expressing our anguish to God. Scripture is rich with examples of people bringing their raw, honest emotions to God. Let’s tell God how
we’re feeling. Let’s be honest about our anger, pain, and frustration when our prayers seem to go unanswered. God is not fazed by our honesty.
When we share our struggles with unanswered prayer, well-meaning friends might offer
advice or reminders that can sometimes add to our burden. They might suggest that we
examine our righteousness, confess our sins, check our motives, or question our faith. While these are important aspects to consider, we must remember that God is gracious and compassionate. Jesus went to the cross to restore our relationship with God, not to constantly remind us of our failings. We come to God released from the weight of our sin because of Jesus.
Beyond expressing our heart to God, the second part of our response is to trust. Trusting God in the midst of unanswered prayer is difficult, especially when He feels distant. However, it’s vital to remember the grace of the cross, the risen Jesus, and the Spirit dwelling within us. Holding on to this truth helps us stand against the lie that God doesn’t care. We choose to believe, even shakily, that God is for us, not against us. We echo David’s declaration in Psalm 13:5, "But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation"
Unanswered prayer often feels like God’s absence. David’s complaint in Psalm 13 is about
God’s silence, which he equates with absence. When we pray and hear nothing, it’s easy to conclude that God is not there. However, Elijah’s experience on Mount Sinai in 1 Kings 19 shows us that God’s presence can be found in the silence. God wasn’t in the powerful wind, earthquake, or fire, but in the silence that followed.
Silence usually feels like absence, but God’s silence does not mean He is absent. He is
present in our pain, sitting with us in our grief. Like Elijah and David, we need to recognize
God’s presence in the silence and trust that He is quietly with us, sharing in our struggles.
This perspective doesn’t answer all our questions about unanswered prayer. It doesn’t explain why God answers some prayers and not others. But it encourages us to trust and recognize God’s presence in the silence. As we wrestle with unanswered prayer, let’s bring our broken hearts to God, trusting in His goodness and presence.
Finally, don’t go through this alone. Ask someone to stand with you in prayer. Praying
together can transform a faith-denting experience into a faith-building one. Together, we can find peace in God’s presence, even in the silence.